Finding Rest in the Mess

Wisdom learned through the mess….

Relationships are Messy

• I make life harder when I think I can control what I can’t. I’ve learned this only wastes mental and emotional energy.
• I like to think I know what’s best for others and that my perspective is correct (even when it’s not). Listening to others and hearing their perspective has helped me better navigate conflicts.  
• Being human is messy. Only God can produce and sustain positive character changes, and this helps to improve our relationships. 

“I’ve found battle buddies are required to not only survive but thrive through the messiness of relationships. Here’s one of my fiercest prayer warriors. She also has the courage to call me out when needed. It stings but I know the love behind her needed words.”

Jobs & Ministry are Messy

• I find His rest when living as His steward not a consumer of all that’s been given.
• Growing to be more like Jesus is growing to be dependent on the Father. Often what I judge another of doing, I am also doing.
• I have found that working well with others requires seeing the value in everyone and understanding my limits.

Marriages are Messy

• I can’t protect others in abusive marriages but can be there for them when they’re ready to flee an abusive relationship. Being faithful in marriage doesn’t mean putting up with abuse.

“Here I am – clueless to what makes a marriage healthy and unaware of buried resentments that would come out sideways for decades before God would lead me to address them. Through the messiness of marriage, God continues to teach me more about myself, my husband and His faithfulness.”

Raising Children is Messy

• Focusing on “doing the right thing” feeds frustration and a pharisaical/following rules kind of mindset (assuming behaivor makes me better than others).
• His rest is lost every time I try to rest in (or try to create) desired circumstances.

By all accounts, my daughter Hannah and I shouldn’t be reconciled. But God used years apart to work on us individually and teach us how to have a relationship built on honesty, transparency, owning our own wrongs, and forgiving as we’ve been forgiven. This photo is us on our annual mother/daughter trip to Colorado where we can’t get enough of Jesus and hiking.